We all make mistakes. That’s the sad truth, especially in a relationship. However, if your mistake is something like having an affair, dealing with the consequences can be quite harder. After all, when your partner discovers that you’ve been cheating on her, you need to rebuild the foundation of your relationship: trust.
Here’s how you can regain the trust of your partner, hopefully winning her back.
Make it clear to your partner that she doesn’t need to hire a private investigator just to learn what you’re up to. Clearly communicate everything, from what your plans are this weekend to how you feel about going to meet her parents. That way, you eliminate any chance of your partner developing the seeds of doubt in her mind.
Most importantly, discuss the problems that led to your having an affair. Maybe you were looking for a break in your daily routine, hence the affair. Discussing these issues as civilly as possible and finding solutions together—without pointing fingers on who’s to blame—can help prevent an affair from happening again.
It’s perfectly understandable if your partner is upset at what happened. So if she’s keen on venting about her frustration over the affair, just . Don’t interrupt her or attempt to correct her while she’s angry—she’ll only be more upset. Set aside time to hear her out and understand her concerns, as this will help you act accordingly.
Stay True to Your Word
As explained earlier, the biggest problem with having an affair is not the physical actions in the affair. It’s actually the loss of trust. The burden is on you to prove that you’re still worthy of that trust. You have to keep every little promise that you make.
So whenever you tell your partner that you’ll meet her at this place and time, you have to be there. Or when you promise to accompany her to an errand over the weekend, you need to put all other invites on hold. Every little bit counts—and breaking even just a small promise can increase suspicion again.
Shower Affection and Attention
Yes, after losing her trust, you’ll need to prove to your partner that you’re worthy of her love. You should think that this process of winning her back is like a second courtship—you have to put your best foot forward. Take her out on that out-of-town trip she’s always dreamed about or give her that pair of shoes she’s always wanted. By showing her that you still care, you can help rebuild that trust.
These are just some of the things that can help you win back the love of your life. However, keep in mind that these tips are no silver bullet; the process of regaining trust is a slow process. Each relationship is also different, so some of these tips may not be as effective as others. At the end of the day, however, it won’t hurt to try these tips out—even in your other platonic relationships.