Pride Is Killing You: How to Fix Your Stubborn Personality and Get the Help You Need

Stubbornness can be a very admirable trait, especially when you’re trying to stick to your guns on a certain issue or subject.

But a stubborn personality can also get in the way of progress and have a negative effect on your relationships as well as your personal growth.

If you’ve been wondering how to correct your notoriously stubborn personality, read on for a few helpful life-changing actions that can help you fix it.

Try to Stop Judging

Maybe you have a particular world view or a certain opinion about people, and that’s fine. But when it comes to healthy relationships with others, you must learn to reserve your judgment.

Everyone’s lives are different, so it’s important to understand that not everyone thinks the same way you do. Too often, stubborn people will refuse to have a dialogue with anyone who disagrees with them.

When you lift the judgment and learn to accept people as they are, you grow your circle of friends. It can be difficult but try your best not to judge others and you’ll be surprised at how open people will be with you.

Remember, You’re Only Human

A common trait among stubborn people is too much pride. It’s important to keep in mind that you’re human and that you’re allowed to make mistakes from time to time.

Once you understand that mistakes are OK, you’ll be better equipped to deal with them as they happen. This goes for others, too. Allow people to own up to their mistakes and make their apologies before completely cutting them from your life.

No one is right 100% of the time, and that’s not always a bad thing. Owning up to mistakes is how we learn.

Learn to Listen

Too often, people with a stubborn personality refuse to listen to what other people have to say. This can make people become distant, and they probably won’t confide in you when they need a helping hand.

Whether it’s an argument between friends and family members or trouble at work, the key is to try and take a step back. Listen to the other side of the story and let that person air their concerns and grievances.

Even if you already have a set opinion in your mind, just listening might change it. An added bonus? If you start to listen to others, they’ll likely return the favor and listen to you, too.

Recognize Your Stubborn Personality

Much like a substance abuser, people who are stubborn often refuse to accept that it’s a part of who they are. Accept that you can be stubborn and then take steps towards changing it.

If you cannot see how stubborn you are, the odds are you won’t do anything about it. Ask some of the people closest to you for their honest opinion about your stubbornness.

By getting an outside point of view, you can have a better understanding of how or why you’re stubborn. Accept that sometimes, you are a part of the problem instead of others. This eye-opening reality is one of the first steps toward real change.

Allow Others to be Themselves

Sometimes, stubborn people get upset when others don’t fall in line with their own point of view. The best way toward healing and getting rid of this trait is to allow others to flourish.

Even if you don’t always agree with someone, you cannot control their lives or behavior. By letting people “just be,” you’re freeing yourself from the burden of worrying about what they do.

As long as someone isn’t directly hurting you in some way, it’s OK to allow them to do things differently. Remember that not everyone will follow the same path as you, and that’s alright.

Be Patient with Yourself

Changing a major part of your personality is never easy. Remember to be patient with yourself, and make small strides in the right direction. People who undergo drug rehab must often practice patience in this same way.

No matter the issue, no one is able to change overnight. By practicing a few small changes with how you relate to others, you’ll start to notice that stubborn trait slowly disappear.

And, if you make a mistake, move on and heal. When you make these simple changes, people will begin to be more understanding.

We are often our own worse critics but it doesn’t do any good to beat yourself up. Take note of your mistakes, and then work toward avoiding them in the future.

Keep a Journal

Writing your thoughts is a great way to notice subtleties in your personality you may not have otherwise realized were there. Use a journal, and jot down some things you notice about yourself that you can change.

Each day, try to write down at least one thing you notice in terms of how you interact with others. You should also consider writing down how you feel about yourself or the things you notice internally.

Writing is an excellent form of therapy, and it’s also a fantastic way to track your changes on paper. You might be surprised at just how easy it is to change once you pay closer attention to your behavior.

Stubbornness Isn’t Forever

Even if you know you have a stubborn personality, you don’t have to be a prisoner to it. By making small changes and keeping track of your interactions, you can begin to lessen those stubborn actions.

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