If you’re like most guys in the world, you’ve experienced sexual performance anxiety at least one time in your life. That’s a perfectly normal occurrence and nothing to be ashamed of. If, however, you stress about sex every time you bed a partner, you may wish there were something you could do about it. Fortunately, there are a number of techniques to try. If even one of them works, your future love life could be so much better.
Common causes of sexual anxiety
The first step to eliminating sexual performance anxiety is to identify the cause. There are a number of common reasons why men fear their in-bed abilities. Males who watch a lot of porn may erroneously believe the veracity of super-sex depicted in most pornographic films. By comparison, they may feel too small or worry that they’ll finish before their partner. If this sounds like you, calm down. The actors in porn films often have a climax before they start filming. Some use delay spray to last longer. Many porn movie actors have sex several times a day and climax slower due to exhaustion.
Bear in mind that porn movies are not generally accurate examples of normal human sexual activity. Sure, you can emulate them, but few men actually “measure up” to the unreal expectations of porno flicks, explains Rising Master magazine. One bad sexual experience may cause a fellow to think he’ll fail every time. This sort of erroneous thinking can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Lack of sleep, drugs and drink, comparison to other people’s sex stories and relationship difficulties are also known to cause severe sexual anxiety in men, say experts at Reboot Blueprint.
Symptoms of sexual anxiety and how to overcome them
Men who worry that they won’t get an erection at the right time may be setting themselves up for failure. Men with marked sexual anxiety may worry that they won’t get hard enough or move in the right way to stimulate their partner.
Mindfulness, meditation, guided relaxation and self-hypnosis offer sex-saving help for many men’s sexual performance anxiety, and they might work for you, too.If you live where cannabis is legal, you may find that high-CBD strains such as Bubble Gum Kush and Charlotte’s Web may also be a good option.
Change your sexual goals
Some men find it difficult to control their climax during penetrative sexual relations. When this happens, their partner may be left unsatisfied. To ensure your partner’s pleasure, don’t rush through foreplay as if it’s a race to the finish line. Oral and manual stimulation may go a long way toward pleasing your partner before you begin actual intercourse.
Talk to your partner and find out what you both like. Focus on the fun of lovemaking, and try not to be too serious about it. Laughter can be a fabulous aphrodisiac and lots of fun, as well. If you’re not making a baby, sex can be just about anything you want it to be.
Mark Bowden is a fully qualified and insured Solution Focused Hypnotherapist. He is a member of the highly recognised and respected National Council of Hypnotherapy and the Association for Solution Focused Hypnotherapy. Mark has always had a passion for helping people move forward in their lives, overcome problems and become the very best version of themselves that they can be.