8 Tips on Keeping the Spark Alive in a Long-Term Relationship

Ask anyone and they’ll tell you that their relationships are important to them and how much they value their loved ones. And why not? It is our close relationships that keep us physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally healthy and happy. They give a sense of security, purpose and a definite direction to our lives. They lift us up when we’re down and prove to be a source of joy time and again.

When it comes to romantic relationships, however, time can play spoilsport. Sometimes, the longer you stay in a relationship, the more it starts to feel like a routine, with little-to-no room for excitement and novelty.

In such relationships, sex can also become mundane and the spark may fade. This is something that a lot of couples fear and experience. We’ve all heard of the infamous seven-year itch, haven’t we?

Romantic spark and intimacy are hard to revive, which is why it is best to try and avoid losing them to begin with. Here are a few tips that may help you keep the chemistry alive in your long-term relationship.

  • Listen More to Enable Healthy Communication

A great way to respond appropriately to your partner is by listening to them as this will enable strong communication. And believe me, healthy communication is key to every lasting relationship. Whether it is during an argument, a chore or even sex, listening will help you respond, rather than react, to your partner. Active listening will also let them know that you’re there for them.  

Active listening creates compassion between a couple; and in sexual terms, good communication is highly instrumental in arousing passion, connecting couples and bringing them closer, thereby increasing desire.

  • Deal with Ill Temper Tactfully

Loving your partner when they are being rather difficult is a huge challenge in relationships. One partner’s bad temper can put the other one off. This can spell doom for the process of recreating desire before it even starts. However, the best way to deal with them is by giving them (and yourself) space, without assuming that their temper is because of something you said/did. Let your partner know that you miss them and are there for them if they want to talk. This way, you demonstrate that you recognize their need and are very much present in the situation for them.   

  • Anticipate Their Needs

A great relationship is made of partners who treat each other as equals. In many ways, this means that you need to be responsive to your partner by anticipating their needs and fulfilling them without being asked to do so. Don’t take for granted that your partner will take all responsibilities and do all the work, whether it is household chores or working at your relationship. This will make them feel like you’re “partners” in the real sense of the term. Do your bit to help them and they’ll notice it, and will surely return the favor.

  • Work on the Waning Chemistry

Sizzling chemistry or attraction is that ingredient in a relationship which can make couples feel like they can have their cake and eat it too. Yes, it’s that wonderful and important. When you’re in a long-term relationship with someone, you’re probably already attracted to them in several ways, which helps keep your sexual desire alive. Doing more never hurt anyone though. Spending time with your partner, paying attention to them, prioritizing their needs over others’, and complimenting them (not just for their physical appearance) play critical roles in recreating and sustaining chemistry in a relationship.

  • Be Emotionally Available and Intimate

Emotions play a huge role in enhancing the quality of relationships. Couples that continue to stay deeply in love over a significant period of time are able to do so because they’re connected to each other at an emotional level. They also have better, more fulfilling sex due to this very reason. It is, therefore, important that couples work on creating emotional intimacy as that will help them rekindle the lost spark. A couple’s emotional closeness can help them maintain sexual desire, and intimacy on an everyday basis can increase desire too.

  • Build Your Sexual Confidence

If you’re in a long-term relationship and have come a long way, you probably remember the days when you felt sexy about yourself effortlessly (Maybe you still do). You probably thought of yourself as a sexual being, which was instrumental in enhancing and maintaining high levels of sexual desire in you.

However, as per Psychology Today, “Among women, sexual desire is typically more psychological and situational, influenced by how they feel about their bodies.” Many women experience vaginal loosening and relaxation (due to age and/or child birth), which makes them feel insecure about their bodies and hinders their sexual confidence. This, in turn, affects their self-esteem and makes them feel less attractive to their partners. This can be embarrassing and frustrating, and can destroy desire.

To deal with these feelings, women turn to medicines and creams for vaginal reconstruction. Surgery is another option, but not all can afford the cost of vaginal rejuvenation surgery. Fortunately, modern vaginal tightening products like the SerreStick wand can enable vaginal rejuvenation easily, naturally and cost-effectively. Simply wetting the wand, inserting its wet end in the vagina, and rotating the wand for 15 to 30 seconds does the trick.    

  • Break the Bed

This refers to having amazing sex, which obviously needs willingness, communication and some smarts. You and your partner could tell yourselves that this time between the sheets will be your last time together. And say it like you mean it. When doing so, consider what you would continue doing in the same manner and what you’d do differently. Is there something new you’d like to try? Thinking of sex in this way can bring you out of the limbo you’re stuck in and help you experience every moment to the fullest.

  • Kiss Like Teenagers

Kissing is when it all begins. It is one of the most intimate things a couple does to express their desire for one another. Sadly, many couples fail to realize its importance in keeping the spark alive as time progresses. With time, it all comes down to the same ol’ peck-on-the-cheek every morning. However, you can decide to take things a notch higher and put some libido into it. Make out like teenagers and put off having sex until hours later (Of course, let your partner know what you’re doing to avoid hurting their sentiments). This way, you can build anticipation until you can finally get down and dirty with each other.


Relationships are a sensitive topic and are experienced differently by every couple. Even between couples, it is not necessary that both partners are experiencing the same type of issues with reigniting the spark. Whatever the case may be, the fact is that the desire for each other needs to be kept alive to enjoy a great relationship. While achieving this is not easy, it certainly isn’t impossible if both partners are willing to work towards it. The tips mentioned above will enable you to do what it takes to keep the fire of desire burning in your long-term relationship.