3 Tips for a Better Sex Life after Retirement


We tend to think that “hot sex” is only for those attractive 20-somethings we see in movies, and we view retirees as asexual. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that those who witnessed the sexual revolution are capable of maintaining steamy sex lives well into their 80s.

If you don’t believe us, there’s a lot of scientific research backing up our claims. Sexual arousal continues into old age, and there’s a lot of action going on beneath the sheets of care centers across the country. There are, of course, some challenges, but many seniors have figured out how to improve their sex life with the help of a few simple tips.

Change Your Perspective on Sex

There’s more to sex than your basic penis-in-vagina intercourse. Medications like Cialis are great for that, but let’s not forget that there’s also oral and manual stimulation, all sorts of interesting sex toys and imaginative “games.” Focus more on mutually satisfying intimacy rather than on performance.

If one of you is having issues with pain, you can try masturbating together while being close and telling each other your wildest fantasies. Sometimes your sex drive will be different than your partner’s. In that case, don’t pressure them into doing something they don’t want to do. Take a more diplomatic approach, which also happens to be much more effective. Cuddling, holding hands, giving each other massages and make-out sessions can be just as intimate and satisfying. Plus, you’ll have a much easier time getting your partner in the mood.

Get Some Lubricant – It Puts the Joy Back in Friction

For some reason, we all know the benefits of condoms but not so much of lubricants. We should all use lubricant; it makes things go smoother. But especially as we grow older, we should use some quality lube for any kind of sexual contact, whether it’s with our partner, we’re flying solo or experimenting with those interesting sex toys we mentioned earlier.

As a woman ages, her vagina shortens, and the walls become thinner and less elastic. It will also start producing secretions in lower quantities, so sexual intercourse can become very irritating and painful, sometimes leading to medical complications. The clitoris can also become much more sensitive to direct stimulation, so a water-based lubricant is a must! There are many very popular brands you can look into, and they even make products catering to older adults in particular.

Try Different Positions

Maybe you went through the entire Kama Sutra when you were younger, but now that you have to consider hip, back, or knee problems, your former favorites may not be the best choice. Although you’ll miss them and we understand your frustration, think of it as a chance to explore.

You can again find plenty of literature, both online and offline, teaching you how to go about this, but there are a few general guidelines. You first want to learn how to shift the weight in such a way that you can reduce discomfort and increase resilience. Pillows are very useful for that. You can place them wherever you want to reduce pressure on parts of your body. You also want to find positions in which you can share the responsibility of the movement. It just takes a little bit of creativity and lots of communication.