Every parent wants to see their children thrive as adults, but guiding them through their formative years to set them up for future success can feel like navigating a 4-D labyrinth without a map.
Especially with children under the age of 10, it can feel like every day brings new and open-ended parenting riddles to solve. How do you teach responsibility while allowing kids to still be kids? What are appropriate rewards for good behavior, and fair and effective punishments for bad behavior? How much is too much involvement when it comes to school, diet, or even what friends your kids choose to hang around with? And perhaps most importantly, what intangible traits should be encouraged and cultivated in your kids to shape them into confident, capable, and successful adults?
Michael Amin, founder and CEO of Maximum Difference Foundation (MDF), has spent many years pondering the best answers to these questions. MDF’s mandate is to create the largest possible amount of positive impact – what Amin calls “units of positive change” – through sophisticated return-on-investment strategies. As part of these calculations, Amin has directed a big part of MDF’s efforts to advocating for what he calls “the art and science of good parenting.”
“Through a long process of research and consultation, I determined one of the best ways to make a positive impact was to build pathways to improve parenting. Although it’s not MDF’s only focus, it is a significant one.”
Maximum Difference Foundation’s list of partner charities includes a long list of worthy causes, including Doctors Without Borders, Amnesty International, the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, and Human Rights Watch.
So, armed with all the resources of such a well-connected organization, what messages does MDF aim at the parents of young children?
“It can be summed up in two words: educate yourselves,” says Amin. “Parents are innately motivated to try to raise their children as best they can, but where there is some room for improvement is helping them to recognize the need for self-education. At MDF, we are passionate advocates of self-education, whether that takes the form of reading, watching documentaries, attending seminars, or, in special cases, even seeking out the services of a therapist or a psychologist.”
Amin is often asked for a good starting point for learning the art and science of good parenting. “I always point them to a Time Magazine article outlining six commonalities usually present in the family lives of children who grow into successful adults. Lately, two of them in particular have been drawing my renewed interest.”
Controlled Chaos
One of those commonalities is what Amin refers to as “controlled chaos.” While the term might sound counterintuitive, it reflects an environment where children are allowed to engage in lively debates, test boundaries, and even make mistakes, all within a framework of support and guidance.
“Children raised in supportive-yet-unstructured, playful environments are far more likely to grow into happy and self-confident adults,” Amin says. “When people are happier and more self-confident, they tend to do a better job at work, get promoted faster, and even take more risks in entrepreneurial ventures, all of which ultimately contribute to the betterment of society.”
This concept of controlled chaos also fosters resilience. Such an environment means children have to learn to adapt to challenges, resolve conflicts, and bounce back from setbacks. Controlled chaos also encourages creativity and critical thinking by allowing children the ideal setting to explore unconventional ideas and solve problems in their own unique way. It provides a safe space for them to experience the consequences of their decisions, helping them develop a sense of accountability and self-awareness.
Or, as Michael Amin puts it, “By embracing controlled chaos, we give our children the tools they need to not only survive but thrive in an unpredictable world.”
A Free-Range Childhood
The second trait Amin mentions is the idea of a “free-range childhood.” This involves giving children the freedom to explore, experiment, and pursue their interests without excessive parental interference.
“The younger children are when they are given a certain amount of freedom, the higher the return on investment in their development,” Amin explains. “Allowing kids the freedom to discover their passions and develop themselves early in their lives is absolutely crucial. It’s not just about raising successful children; it’s about raising happy children who are equipped to find their own paths in life. That leads to success.”
Michael Amin believes that the happiness of children should be the primary objective of parenting, followed by fostering self-development and encouraging children to make a positive impact.
“When parents focus on these goals in that order, the outcomes are extraordinary. Happier children grow into more self-assured adults who are better equipped to navigate life’s challenges and make positive contributions.”
MDF’s mission aligns closely with its founder’s philosophy. By applying the same return-on-investment principles used in business to the realm of philanthropy, Maximum Difference Foundation strives to optimize its impact.
“For every dollar we invest, we try to calculate how many units of positive change we’re creating,” Amin explains. “Say we start with a $5 million budget. Using that, MDF can reach something like 50 million people. Even if only 10% of those people are inspired to improve their parenting, that’s still a huge return on investment in terms of units of positive change.
Amin clarifies that MDF does not provide direct education or parenting classes, but rather seeks to inspire parents to take the initiative in learning the art and science of parenting.
Amin believes in the profound influence parents have on shaping future generations. “The next few generations will determine how we deal with our many looming challenges, some of which are existential. It’s incredibly important stuff for the future of the human race. It’s why I feel parenting is one of the things that can make the maximum difference.”